Day 12: The Bad Habit Hit List: A Countdown to Unf*cking Your Life, One Crappy Habit at a Time
#4. Avoiding Difficult Conversations: How to stop ghosting life’s awkward moments
We need to have a difficult conversation. (👈See what I did there? 😏)
The social equivalent of accidentally stepping on a rake and smacking yourself in the face.
Nobody wants to do it, yet here we are, dodging them like they’re offering free smears at a funfair - and you’re part of the attraction!
Avoiding difficult conversations is one of those habits that feels like self-care in the moment — like you’re sparing yourself the emotional hangover of confrontation.
But what you’re actually doing is stockpiling future anxiety like a doom-monger hoarding tinned beans.
If dodging difficult conversations was an Olympic sport, most of us would be bathed in gold medals, standing awkwardly on the podium, avoiding eye contact with the silver and bronze winners.
Anyway, let’s stop avoiding this awkwardness and get on with it.
Why we do it
We tell ourselves it’s kindness — we don’t want to upset anyone.
But deep down, we know it’s fear dressed up in a sensible, beige, cardigan.
The fear of not being liked.
The fear of conflict.
The fear of crying like a malfunctioning sprinkler mid-conversation.
The problem is, that temporary reprieve you get from swerving an uncomfortable chat?
It’s the emotional equivalent of shoving dirty laundry under the bed.
It’s still there — festering like an angry troll — just waiting to fist you up the stinker later.
The side effects of ghosting life’s awkward moments:
Constant low-level anxiety buzzing in the background like a crap fridge.
Resentment building up until you explode at your mate for breathing (or chewing) too loudly.
Passive-aggressive texts with more full stops than an English exam.
Weird tension that makes your stomach feel like it’s auditioning for Britain’s Got Talent.
How to unlearn the art of avoidance
Accept That It’s Going to Be Awkward
Difficult conversations are never going to feel like a warm bubble bath with scented candles and Enya playing softly in the background.
They’re going to feel like emotional sandpaper.
Accept it.
The goal isn’t to avoid discomfort — it’s to survive it without becoming a human doorstop.Start Small
If the thought of telling your boss they’re about as organised as a piss-up in a brewery makes you want to crawl inside your own skin, start smaller.
Practice saying “no” to minor things.
Like when someone asks if you fancy doing a Tough Mudder at 6am on a Sunday.Use the Shit Sandwich Technique Compliment → Brutal Truth → Compliment
Example: “You’re an amazing friend, but if you keep posting those inspirational Facebook quotes about how Mercury in retrograde is ruining your life, I will have to mute you. Love you though!”
Channel Your Inner Larry David
When in doubt, ask yourself: what would Ricky Gervais do?
Probably say exactly what he thinks with zero regard for how awkward it gets.
Be a little more Ricky.Rip the Plaster Off
You’ll spend three weeks mentally rehearsing a five-minute conversation.
Do yourself a favour — just bloody have the conversation.
Future You will want to kiss you full on the mouth.
Final thoughts
Avoiding difficult conversations doesn’t make them disappear — it just upgrades them to Boss Level Bullshit.
The longer you leave them, the heavier they get, like an emotional Amazon delivery you forgot you ordered.
The only way out is through: “If you’re going through hell, keep going!” - Winston Churchill
Next up:
#3. Holding Grudges: “I’m not holding a grudge, I just remember everything you’ve ever done wrong!”