Day 2: The Bad Habit Hit List: A Countdown to Unf*cking Your Life, One Crappy Habit at a Time
#14. Nail-Biting: Your Fingers Aren’t a Snack, Susan
Maybe you do it when you’re stressed.
Maybe when you’re bored.
Maybe you don’t even realise you’re doing it until you look down and see that your fingers resemble chewed-up dog toys.
Either way, we need to talk.
Gather 'round, my fellow anxious Annie’s (or Alan’s), because today we’re tackling a habit that’s as gross as it is universal: nail-biting.
#MeToo - oh, wait, that’s not appropriate, is it?
Let’s address the obvious: It’s disgusting
Look, I’m not here to shame anyone (much), I do it too, but we both know this is nasty.
Your hands are filthy.
I don’t care how often you wash them—throughout the day, you touch money, door handles, your phone (which has more bacteria (and bodily fluid) than a public toilet), and, if you’re a pet owner, some questionable fur-covered mystery objects.
And what do you do?
You shove those ‘fested fingers straight into your mouth like a Gregg’s Sausage Roll.
Congratulations, you’ve just invited a germ rave into your body, glow sticks and all.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Nail-biting is the Swiss Army knife of bad habits:
🧠 Stress relief – Because nothing says “calm” like gnawing your fingertips into nubbins.
🫠 Boredom – Why stare at the wall when you can mindlessly chomp away?
🤷 Habitual autopilot – Sometimes, you don’t even realise you’re doing it until you taste blood (or poo 👀). Fun!
The hidden cost of your chewy little addiction
Your nails look like they lost a fight with a cheese grater.
Your teeth take damage over time.
They’re not designed to be pruning shears.Germs, germs, germs.
Did I mention germs?
Oh, I did?
Well, that’s because I meant it - consider this your second warning.It can mess with your confidence.
Nothing like realising your hands look like they belong to a nervous raccoon.
How to break the habit (without replacing it with something worse)
1️⃣ Identify the Triggers – Are you doing it when stressed? Bored? Watching reality TV? Find out when the urge kicks in.
2️⃣ Make It Disgusting – Slather on bitter-tasting polish. Or dip your fingers in hot sauce. Whatever it takes.
3️⃣ Keep Your Hands Busy – Fidget toys, stress balls, knitting… learn to juggle if you have to.
4️⃣ Chew Something Else (That’s Meant to Be Chewed) – Sugar-free gum. Carrots. Fingerna…, oh, uh… Anything that won’t require a tetanus shot.
5️⃣ Give Your Nails a Fighting Chance – Keep them trimmed and looking decent. If they’re well-maintained, you’ll be less tempted to turn them into an all-you-can-eat stress buffet.
Final snack
Listen, you’re a human, not a hamster.
Your nails are not a snack.
It’s time to stop treating your fingers like a chew toy and find a better way to cope with stress, boredom, or whatever it is that drives you to nibble your own limbs like a starved Zombie.
Tomorrow’s habit? Let’s just say… it might be putting your future in jeopardy. 👀
(Stay tuned for #13.)