Day 8: The Bad Habit Hit List: A Countdown to Unf*cking Your Life, One Crappy Habit at a Time
#8. People-Pleasing: How to Stop Being Everyone’s Emotional Doormat
Being nice is great.
Being a doormat?
Not so much.
If you find yourself saying "yes" when you mean "absolutely fucking not," congratulations—you may be suffering from chronic people-pleasing.
But don’t worry, we’re about to fix that.
Are you a people-pleaser?
(Oh, you want to ask me first? “Probably.”)
Let’s check:
✅ You agree to things before your brain even catches up.
✅ You apologise for stuff that isn’t your fault (like… weather, or someone stepping on YOUR toe).
✅ Confrontation? You’d rather eat a fistful of gravel.
✅ You say “I don’t mind” so often it might as well be your catchphrase.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not being "nice"—you’re being a human doormat, rolled out for everyone to wipe their emotional shit on.
And, mate, it’s exhausting.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
It’s all about fear.
Fear of rejection.
Fear of disappointing people.
Fear that if we say "no," we’ll be shunned from society and forced to live in a cave.
But here’s the truth: Most people don’t actually care as much as you think.
Say “no” to something?
They’ll get over it.
Set a boundary?
They might even respect you more.
How to stop being everyone’s emotional punching bag
🔹 Practice Saying “No” (Without the Essay Explanation)
You don’t need a 500-word excuse.
“No, I can’t” is enough.
Bonus points if you throw in a "hope that’s okay" just to really confuse them.
🔹 Drop the Guilt Like a Bad Habit
Saying no doesn’t make you selfish.
It makes you someone with a backbone.
And trust me, those are useful.
🔹 Stop Apologising for Existing
If you didn’t personally cause the crisis, you don’t need to say sorry.
Unless you actually did make it rain, or step on someone’s toe—then, yeah, maybe apologise.
🔹 Give Yourself Some Damn Space
If someone asks you to do something, say, “Let me get back to you.”
This buys time to figure out if you actually want to do it, or if you’re just defaulting to “yes” like a malfunctioning robot.
The bottom line
Your time is yours.
Your energy is yours.
And your self-worth shouldn’t be tied to how many favours you do for people who wouldn’t lift a finger for you.
So next time someone tries to dump their problems on you, take a deep breath and remember: You are not a human doormat. You are a welcome sign with an OFF switch.