Stop Obsessing About Yourself: The Secret to Feeling Free and Actually Living
Stop living in your own head and start sending out good vibes — It’ll change everything
You’re not that important (and that’s a good thing)
You know that voice in your head?
The one that’s like a drunk toddler with a megaphone shouting, “Everyone’s staring at you!
Did you say the wrong thing?
Do they hate you now?”
Yeah, that little bastard’s a liar.
We all have one, and for some of us, it’s running the show.
It’s time to evict it and start looking outward.
Stop living in your own head.
Let’s dive into this with a brutal truth: we’re selfish.
Yep, I said it.
But not in the flashy, “I’m gonna steal your thunder and your parking spot” kind of way.
No, we’re selfish in constantly worrying about what other people think of our way.
We’ve built these ridiculous little thought bubbles — mental hamster wheels of doom — where we obsess over how others perceive us, as if the world is a panel of judges on Britain’s Got Talent — staring at us — waiting to hit the buzzer.
Why your inner critic is a total prick: My spiral into self-made hell
A little while back, I was in a bad place.
Work was rubbish, my boss felt like the villain in my life story, and I was spiralling.
Every decision she made felt like a personal attack.
Every email she sent was a dagger to my morale.
I was so busy fuming over what she might be thinking or doing that I didn’t notice I was digging my own mental grave.
One day, as I was mentally drafting a novel titled Reasons Why My Boss Sucks, it hit me.
The only person I was hurting was myself.
I was so caught up in this whirlwind of negativity and inward-looking self-pity that I couldn’t see straight.
My mental health?
Wrecked.
My productivity?
A joke.
My confidence?
Lower than a limbo stick at a party full of overachievers.
The magic of loving everyone (yes, even that jerk of a boss): The big shift from me to we
That’s when I had an epiphany — well, more like a “Get your shit together” moment.
What if I stopped worrying so much about what others thought of me and started thinking about them instead?
Radical idea, I know.
So, I tried something new: instead of inwardly spiralling, I started sending good vibes out into the world.
Not in a “wear crystals and chant under the full moon” way — more like a silent “Hey, you’re awesome” to random strangers.
Walking down the street, I’d think things to myself like:
“You’re smashing it today, mate.”
“You deserve happiness.”
“Hope that coffee gives you life, random stranger.”
And the craziest thing?
It worked!
Why it works: The secret sauce
Here’s why this outward-looking strategy is genius:
It takes the focus off you.
When you’re too busy thinking nice things about others, you’ve got no mental bandwidth left to criticise yourself.It rewires your brain.
Turns out, thinking good thoughts about others actually makes you feel good about yourself.
It’s like tricking your brain into being happy.It changes your vibe.
Cheesy but true.
People can sense when you’re radiating positivity, and they respond to it.
Suddenly, I wasn’t dreading work.
I even started sending good thoughts toward my boss.
I know — who am I?!
But seriously, instead of plotting her downfall in my head, I began silently wishing her success and happiness.
Admittedly, it’s hard to do this with someone you despise — initially — but rather than doing it through gritted teeth, think about their family, their loved ones.
They’re someone’s wife, husband, daughter, son — they’re going through their own life struggles, just like you are.
Show them some compassion, as you’d wish compassion to be shown to you.
Try it: Here’s how you start
If you’re stuck in your own head, here’s the challenge:
Catch yourself spiralling.
When you start obsessing over what someone might be thinking about you, stop.Flip the script.
Instead of asking, “Do they like me?” ask, “What do I appreciate about them?”Send out the good vibes.
Silently think positive thoughts about everyone you encounter, even the ones who irritate you.
From self-doubt to self-love: The shift you need — the wildly unexpected outcome
I won’t lie — it felt weird at first.
Like I was walking around handing out imaginary gold stars.
But it didn’t take long to notice a change.
I felt lighter, freer, and less burdened by the mental gymnastics of worrying about my image.
The bonus?
People started responding differently to me.
It was as if by silently rooting for them, they could somehow feel it.
Was it magic?
No.
Just the undeniable power of not being a self-absorbed asshole for once.
So, stop obsessing about what everyone else thinks of you.
Start sending love outward.
And watch the world — and your mental state — transform.
Oh, and if you’re reading this, just know: You’re amazing. You’ve got this. Now go radiate that awesomeness.
Your mission, should you choose to accept It: Spread the love bombs
Alright, legend, it’s your turn to get off the pity train and start sprinkling good vibes like confetti at a wedding.
Think of this as your personal challenge to unstick your brain from its self-obsessed hamster wheel and become the Beyoncé of benevolence.
Here’s the deal: for the next 24 hours, every time you catch yourself spiralling into, “Oh no, do they like me?” territory, slap that thought with a mental “Shut up!” and flip it.
Instead, think something uplifting about the person in front of you.
Doesn’t matter if it’s the postie, your barista, or the moody teenager glaring at you in Tesco.
Hit them with an internal, “You’re a bloody rockstar, mate!”
Then watch what happens.
Spoiler: the universe won’t immediately send you a free yacht or a winning lottery ticket, but you will feel like you’re walking on air.
And maybe, just maybe, you’ll start to realise that the world isn’t judging you nearly as much as you’re judging yourself.
Let’s turn this into a movement.
Start small, stay consistent, and report back.
What changes for you?
What surprises you?
Let’s make not being a self-absorbed worrywart the hottest trend since avocado toast.
And hey, if you’re feeling particularly smug about your newfound positivity powers, drop a comment or subscribe to the (UN)BROKEN.
Don’t keep all this wholesome badassery to yourself.
Let’s spread it like Nutella on toast, yeah?
